Smash Report: Abstract Marilyn the Musical

At a tap class, Sam (wearing the original t-shirt worn by Dulé Hill in Stick Fly) and Ivy discuss Marilyn and the lack of feedback. Is it dead? Well it is according to Julia who whines in bed. Don’t be so depressed Julia. It’s not the end of the world. What is a way to feel better about her horrible project? Well to have hubby Frank sing to her via Guitar Hero. Really? Well, that’s a choice. Thankfully we didn’t have to see too much of it. Eileen is in her new apartment when Ellis arrives to offer his services. But before work can be done, Eileen’s daughter, played by Grace Gummer (daughter of Meryl…Meryl the Musical…next season?) arrives. Karen has a private meeting with McSleazy as he’s begin very sleazy. How fitting. He’s offering Karen an opportunity to sing a Marilyn inspired song by a new song writer. The catch? Tom and Julia can’t know. Uh oh! Rival Marilyn musicals or complete and total burn? Stay tuned!

At Tom’s apartment, we learn that Tom sent Ellis to snoop. I guess it is part of the job description. Snoopy offers the information that Katie is in town in addition to some info about Karen and Derek. Tom is intrigued so he calls Julia. But Julia is preoccupied with a meet up with Michael. Time to SMASH his hopes and dreams? You betcha! Michael admits that he would have quit if he weren’t fired. How noble, Swift. Michael and Julia depart amicably, no handshake or hug. All Julia gets is to see Michael smooch his wife while his kid runs around. Karen tells Dev about her sleazy meetings with Derek and her confusion with the project. She then tells Dev she is going to cook him some curry, but Dev tells Karen he’s going to have some curry of his own with RJ. Bad Dev. Bad bad Dev. At Dev’s meet up with RJ, he has a conscience. And we care…not at all. Katie and her mom Eileen begin to decorate her office. Katie tells Eileen that daddy gave her money. Money that is not going to Eileen. John is at the Houston house discussing Leo’s crime. John is a charmer and will do all the talking because he can get anybody off (pun very much intended.) Karen meets McSleazy to tell him she’s uncomfortable. McSleazy and his creeptastic coat meet OneRepublic frontman Ryan Tedder who is helping Derek with some sort of performance. OneRepublic + Marilyn Musical = Trainwreck!
At court, Julia makes a fool out of herself. But let’s not forget she’s grateful for her family. Yawn. Karen is at a rehearsal for her secret project with Ryan Tedder and McSleazy. Ryan Tedder tells McSleazy to back off. Score! But before we can see more burns, we get Katie playing mediator to mom and dad. Katie is clearly Team Eileen. A new potential “Smash” rivalry in the making? She is grateful for the 3 million dollars daddy gave her. During the battle, Snoopy was at the door spying. Bad Ellis. Will he get caught? Absolutely. Katie sets HIM straight. Score!!! McSleazy calls Eilleen but Ellis answers. He asks him to give her a message that his secret project is on. Too bad Ellis is too smart to put two and two together. The gypsies are at Brooklyn Bowl to let off some steam. Thankfully they’re better dancers than bowlers because the second some music comes on, they’re shaking their groove things like a scene from “Grease 2.” But the way this business works, they’re not going to score tonight. I must say, with all the fun they were having, no bowling alley would allow some kids to dance in the lanes! Not even at Broadway Bowling does that happen!
Something happens to Dev. Who cares. Moving on. Snoopy stalks Ivy at the dance studio in order to get more information about this secret event. Ivy is determined to find out more. She employs deceivious Bobby to butter up to Karen and get her to divulge some info. And apparently it works. Karen spills! Then Cyn and Ellis are in bed (not sure what exactly what they were…oh wait, making out) when Ellis tells he doesn’t want to work for an “artist” any longer. Be grateful kid! Jobs in this business are few and far between. Eileen takes Katie to her new bar to show off her new boy toy Nick. Dev calls RJ over to find out some information that will help him further his career. I think I forgot what he does…Karen comes home to discover the political party featuring RJ which does not suit her fancy. It almost starts a feud but instead she speaks the lyrics of “Touch Me” which is some odd foreplay that leads to Dev and Karen kissing.

McSleazy offers some compliments to Karen, including “don’t be afraid of the sex.” It leads to “that’s what Marilyn had.” I thought Marilyn is currently dead. Can’t we stop with the comparisons? Tom and Julia have a reunion with Katie in Brooklyn to see the secret project. Oh, Ellis and Ivy are sneakily in on it too. The secret performance begins. Karen is behind a screen being sexy and then appears in a towel with a bed and some dancers in hockey masks who ultimately cage her in her bed. It’s really creepy but a kinda awesome. Maybe it’s some bizarro Greek adaptation. I mean the performance is in Brooklyn…Are you as confused as I am? Yes. But what did we just see? It’s a new direction for Marilyn. Abstract Marilyn the Musical. Uh…no? Katie is pissed at Eileen for pulling the stunt on Tom and Julia. Karen is caught in the middle and can only utter sorry from her bed cage. Snoopy interjects and tries to calm the troops. Ivy intercepts Karen to inform her of the knife she stabbed Tom and Julia with. Tom and McSleazy finally have their out. I smell big reveal! We learn that eleven years earlier  that McSleazy badmouthed Tom after a botched project. That’s it? Yawn. McSleazy makes a homophobic comment about gays running the theater (well, if the high heel fits). McSleazy tries to tell Tom who Marilyn really is, while jabbing him with some backhanded insults, but both vow to not quit on the project.
At headquarters, the troops attempt to rally and move forward. The first step is to find a new Marilyn and a new title. Outside the office, we discover that Snoopy is now working for Eileen and not Tom. What happened to two weeks notice? Snoopy has no ethics! Katie redecorates Eileen’s new apartment because that’s what trust fund babies do. Tom meets Ivy backstage of their show to inform her that she’s out as Marilyn because it’s the only option to get it to Broadway. Ivy breaks down because she’s not a star. It’s a tough business girlfriend. Back at Karen’s, Dev is spoon-fed curry, which leads to more foreplay. Thankfully, we don’t see this because Ivy has to sing away her blues via “Let Me Be Your Star.” McSleazy shows up at Ivy’s door to console her. She’s still jealous that Karen got the secret performance, but that was only retaliation for calling him lousy in bed. Well, she claims she lied which leads to the inevitable. They do it.
So that’s the aftermath of the workshop. Not much to talk about, really. Are you ok with what the “history” between Tom and Derek or was it just the easiest cop out? Are you as fed up with the Dev storyline as I am? Was this just a throwaway episode? What did you think of Abstract Marilyn the Musical?