Smash Report: Teching Cheating Hearts

We begin with Tom and Sam singing the anthemic “Another Opening, Another Show.” How nice to pay homage to our craft. Of course we get a montage of the gang getting ready to head up to Boston for the out of town try out. And of course there’s a Grand Central Station moment. Though to get to Boston via Amtrak, you have to go from Penn Station…but we bypass that because Christian Borle is killing this song. We arrive at the Colonial Theater in Boston where it’s tech time! Rebecca has a moment alone on stage with the ghost light looking out at the theater. It’s very “my first time.” Let’s face it, who hasn’t done that at least once in their career? In the audience McSleazy tries to figure out a transition when his girl, Ivy, appears with two cups of coffee. She helps him with his problem, which leads McSleazy to say, “that’s why I love you.” The man does have a heart! He uttered the four letter word! Let the girl smile in peace!
At the hotel, Karen is awakened by her phone. Dev calls on the morning of their first ten out of twelve announcing that he wants to come up and see her. Does he not know what tech entails? At the theater, Tom tries to get McSleazy to put in a new song to cover a quick change. But before he can sell it, their new DiMaggio announces he got a pilot therefore has to leave the show immediately. For the love of theater! In the dressing room, Karen wears Rebecca’s wig while they chat about pre-tech jitters. While applying a lot of lipstick, Rebecca bears he soul about her ever-present fear. At the Houston’s, Frank and Julia are sharing some rekindling romance only to be broken up by Tom who can’t break the news that Michael Swift has to come back into the show. While Linda, our stage manager is calling in the drop, Dennis and Ivy share a “omg he said he loved me” moment. When the cast is called on stage, Rebecca freaks out when she learns that Ted, her leading man, is gone. McSleazy tries to calm her down and lets Ivy step in for Rebecca while she cools off. McSleazy then goes on stage and yells to focus a light. Um, not your job. In the dressing room, McSleazy shares the Marilyn tidbit of the night to Rebecca in order to pep her up. Use your star power! Ivy eavesdrops on McSleazy and Rebecca only to be called out by Snoopy himself. He tells her that nothing’s going on between them and that he will keep an eye out for Ivy. What is his angle! Why is he bowing down to Ivy’s ever need? We know he’s not a genuine person so what could he possible want from her? McSleazy? Well that would be a plot twist.
Back in New York, Dev gets a surprise visit from RJ. I smell trouble! Especially since she’s brought over a bottle of booze. Eileen and Julia meet at Headquarters to announce that Michael Swift is back. She starts rattling off a list of other actors to replace Ted because she won’t sacrifice her family for theater any longer. Like we have a choice. Still in New York, RJ and Dev are sitting close on the couch, sipping booze, listening to music, and oh yeah, kissing. Dev, you sleazeball! Does this make RJ a more hated character than Ellis for doing this to Karen? It’s quite possible. Dev says he can’t, but the deed is done. Back in Boston, McSleazy is mad at all the designers with their choices. And Rebecca wants gloves. Tom tries to reason with Julia but she won’t let it happen. Julia tries to tell Frank about Michael, who’s also not ok with the thought. Don’t they both realize it’s not entirely their decision any longer? McSleazy wants to move on with rehearsal, but when it’s your birthday during a Marilyn inspired musical, you get the works. Rebecca comes out in Marilyn garb and sings “Happy Birthday Mr. Director” while the entire cast joins in for cake. Ivy is not having it. That should be her! She’s the only Marilyn who hasn’t gotten that chance this season! Sucks!

Ivy is a doubter for Derek’s love. Sam reveals he’s going to see his family, with Tom. Oh that will be fun. At the cake table, Ivy is still pissed. Eileen tries to get Julia to see the production light, but Julia will not risk her family again. At tech, Rebecca and the cast do some numbers with some fancy lights and costumes in a real theater. We see Tom’s poorly written scene to cover for Rebecca’s quick change but it causes nothing but a mess. The result? Ivy and Karen have to take off Rebecca’s gloves. Say what? In the lobby, Dev arrives with flowers for his lady as a surprise apology for his badness. Karen doesn’t have time and still, Dev doesn’t understand the business. Tom again tries to reason with Julia and then Julia drops her bomb. Michael comes to Boston and she’s out.
Eileen is at her boyfriend’s dive bar contemplating the demise of her show. Nick reasons with Eileen saying her priority is to the show and not to Julia. Will this sink in with her? At Sam’s house, Tom meets the family. Sam’s family is successful, making Sam the oddball child. Tom sucks up to Sam’s dad by saying that he agrees with Sam’s bad life choice. In the dressing room, McSleazy appears to be hitting on Rebecca. Really? Is seduction the only thing you know how to do? Apparently so because…now they’re making out. Manwhore! At Sam’s place, Tom continues to suck up to Daddy Ron by washing dishes and figuring out a way to talk sense into Sam. Sam is not happy. And rightly so. Ivy is waiting for McSleazy only to realize that he’s being McSleazy with Rebecca. Heartbreak sucks don’t it? Dev and Karen have a date night where Dev reveals his thoughts on their future. What will it be? Is he breaking up with her? Am I crossing my fingers? His mouth is opening and the answer is? Just say it? NO!!!! Dev! What are you—? Propose?! No! Don’t say yes! Ok, phew. “I’m in tech” will work for me, but not for Dev. Heartbreak really does suck.
 At Sam’s house, Tom apologizes for taking sides. Sam sets it straight that theater is his life. He’s made that decision. He speaks for us all. His monologue leads to a kiss. But their kiss is broken up by Sam’s brother announcing “two boys kissing.” How childish. At the hotel, a party ensues where Bobby plans a sing off between Ivy and Karen. Team Ivy or Team Karen? The chorus takes their sides. Ivy starts us off with some soul and into dream world. And in her fantasy world, she’s alone in a hotel room with a backdrop of rain against the window. How cliché heartbreak. Through her fantasy, she sees all the times McSleazy played the sleaze card. A McSlezetage if you will. She sings “she doesn’t know what to do.” I can tell you. Vamanos! Dev catches Karen at the party. Dev claims he’s sacrificed so much for the stupid show. Dev drops his RJ bomb that he was with her in their apartment. Karen upon hearing the news storms off. Go girl! At the Houston’s, Frank and Leo convince Julia to go to Boston only if they go with her. And convenitly enough, it’s Spring Break. Spring Break: Boston! Meanwhile in Boston, Dev and Ivy have a chance meeting in a bar. Dev buys Ivy a drink not knowing who she is. But once they reveal their names, they both realize who they are. But let’s face it, we all know where it’s leading…
Did you like that mouth-dropping twist? If you told me weeks ago that was going to happen, I would have called you a fool. Well played. And what did you think of all the whacky liberties taken during “tech?” And who’s the sleaziest of all?